Someone I once knew told me that you could never fall back in love with someone you are currently with. They told me that once you fall out of love, that was it. There was no trying. There was no persistence. There was no “inner growing”. When you fall out of love, your relationship is over.
I challenge you to tell me that your relationship doesn’t have its ups and downs. I challenge you to tell me that you NEVER had a thought about leaving that person. Or that you could find someone better. Or that you wished they were more to your liking. I challenge you to say that you never felt like giving up. That your relationship has never experienced conflict.
I have been with the wrong crowd my entire life. I have searched for what I believed was friendship, love, and trust in all the wrong places.
I found that I loved those who I thought was inferior to me. I loved those who I thought were better than me. I loved those that never tried to contact me. I loved those that used me. I loved those that had different opinions than me and who said things that didn’t align with me.
I loved those broken pieces of shards that make up who my mom and dad are.
I let them bully me. I let them give their opinion, and when given mine back tell me that I was in the wrong.
I let them in. I let them use me.
And the ones who were safe. The ones who showed me true love. I didn’t always join hands with them. And now I know I was wrong.
I’m tired of people whom I thought were friends. I’m tired of seeing and hearing the truth and yet persisting that they are a good friend.
I’m tired of loving the wrong people in my life.