I have read a post similar to this one years ago, but today it finally opened my eyes. It makes me think about who I’ve let into my life, and who I am friends with, and who I am not friends with anymore.
Particularly rule four, rule seven, and rule nine.
Rule four states that lessons are repeated until they are learned. I can think of a few things that has happened over and over because I wasn’t brave enough to say anything. My mom always tells me I get close to weird people who like to tell me what to do, and are strongly opinionated and let me know what they are thinking. They are stong individuals who don’t give a fuck what they say to other people as long as they get their point across, or get it out of their mind. This is true. The person I call a best friend is someone like that. To this day I still don’t tell her how hurt she made me feel, or that I feel used. Yet I call her a best friend.
Rule seven states others are mirrors of yourself. So the friend whom I feel constantly has to be above everyone else in their ways of thinking, or constantly nudge at you to be a better person, or feels that they need to be heard…is that a true reflection of myself? Do I feel that I need to always be the most understanding, the most compassionate, the one who sways their thoughts and tries to feel what others feel? Yes. I am like that. I feel the need to be the bigger person in every situation because when I’m not it totally backfires! I feel I need to be the optimistic one because when I’m not I get scolded. I feel I need to believe in what people say because if I don’t I’m a shitty friend. So the friend who says whatever she feels like even at the cost of others feelings, am I like her as well? Yes, but to some extent. I’m like that with my boyfriend and with my family. That’s being truthful. But I am not as crass as my friend can be. I can be meaner. And yet she’s never seen that side of me. Not yet at least. And what about the person I let go? Was I like her? Maybe at that time I was. Or maybe I didn’t want to see it. Either way, I’ve let that go.
Rule nine states the answers are inside all of us. This is divine truth. What I really want, who I want to be with, it’s all there, right in my soul, in my heart.
Why do I feel the need to make peace with everyone all the time? It’s exhausting. Not sticking up for myself when I feel like ripping into the other person, well that’s just my other side saving them.
I highly recommend you take this article with you no matter what path you walk on.